Lando An Ode

Ah Lando,

The loveable face that has been waking me up at 5am in the morning to be let out.
The floppy eared care free, easy going, clutz that sloths around the house.
The over dramatic, verbal, loud mouth who likes to vocalize his discontentment with life.
The lazy, comical hound who lies in the sun and drags himself by his front legs with his butt firmly planted on the ground.

This is Lando.

She feeds on ashes

Isaiah 44:20 "He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart mislead him; he cannot save himself, or say 'Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?'"

Isaiah 44:7 "Who then is like me?  Let him proclaim it.  Let him declare & lay out before me what has happened since I established my ancient people, & what is yet to come - yes, let him foretell what will come"

Part 1 - 18th May 2009

 

She who feeds on ashes,

shamed & disgraced.

Her heart is heavy,

her soul cries out.

There she lies on her face.

The fire's died,

she longs for warmth,

comforting arms.

No ones there she's all alone,

they've left her for another place.

The fires dead,

no shoulder left,

she shivers,

she's alone.

He hears her wail,

He sees her.

He reaches down to touch her face,

He beckons her to come.

He takes her hands and dusts them off,

wipes the soot clean off her face.

He says "My child I'm here for you I heard your cry for help."

He wraps her in his warm robe & holds her in his arms.

She stars to cry

from relief & shame & says "I don't deserve this."

He holds her tight in His embrace & says that's not your choice.

I heard you cry & came to you,

come sit with me a while, lets talk of what binds you so & maybe you'll feel free.

She highly doubts His request but opts to humour Him.

She tells her story - the things she's done

and places that she's been.

  

Part 2 13th September 2009

He listens to her heavy heart.

No judgment comes across his face.

She's tired & drained,

she cries no more.

She's spilled it all at his feet.

He looks at her,

takes her hands and says

"Its forgiven! 

I laid my life on the tree for you to live in liberty."

She understands & sees the Grace that's been poured out on her.

She breathes a sigh of relief.

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,

your sins like the morning mist.

Return to me for I have redeemed you.*"

The breath of life redeemed,

revived.

As she begins to live a life

forgive by His side.

   

*Isaiah 44

*http://careysimsphotography.blogspot.com/2011_08_01_archive.html

*http://catholiclivingtoday.blogspot.com/2012_02_01_archive.html

*http://www.google.com/imgres?start=295&hl=en&gbv=2&biw=1215&bih=739&tbm=isch&tbnid=5r8CloRJAdBgsM:&imgrefurl=http://pgtipsonfilms.com/category/indie/&docid=oZXKOa_AAEDFLM&imgurl=http://pgtipsonfilms.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/another-earth-rhoda-on-her-own.jpg&w=640&h=352&ei=n9tpT7yxH42DhQeI0oiNCg&zoom=1

*http://robinsnest66.blogspot.com/2010/07/wednesdays-woman.html

My favourite version of me

The girl I wish I still was!
22
Young
Ambitious
The world really felt like it was at my feet
Hopeful
Innocent
Excited
All the time in the world to make decisions and choices.

I suppose it was a year where I made some really bad choices, things that I regret and wish I could do over.  Alas it came and it went.  I also feel it was a year for me to accomplish something - I don't know what.  A year that taught me to take EVERY opportunity and use it to its full.

I was in the USA, which I really believe God made happen for a reason that I feel I didn't accomplish.

Now I'm 4 years older (gulp), not where that 22 year old version thought she would be.  Looking back she made decisions I would NEVER make now and looking forward from 2008 I'm not who she thought she would be.  Although I'm not much different from 22 year old me - she's part of the girl I currently am, just more life experience and character kind of like a vintage car - keep adding on the miles.

Although I wouldn't say not to a letter from the 85 year old version of me!

Weekend Projects - Men in Lieu

Two bread boards & One idea to create a black board to hang jewelry on.

Needless to say I no longer want to smash nails into my bread boards. 

SUPER BOWL SUN/MONDAY?!?!?!?!?

Count down to Super Bowl XLVI 3hrs 36min 25sec 24 sec 23 sec. . . . . . you get the point.

Location is set, party will come together in about 18 hours, recording is set, now the only obstacle avoiding hearing the winning team for the next 8 hours at work so that I can enjoy the game watch it fresh and unjaded!

Challenge accepted all systems GO and operation black out commences.

Unpacking the Musical Lyric

I love Lady Antebellum and my January 31st song post.

Listening to the lyrics I have a oxymoronic feeling towards the lyric "Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door" which part of that irks me a little, yet makes me laugh and at the same time scoff?  "Another shot of whiskey" Its funny to me that for the guy in the song to have the same sentiments as the girl he needs to be drinking.

For the girl its a case of looking at old photos and taking that nostalgic trip down memory lane.

The juxtaposition humours me!

My favourite line in this song points to how precious human emotions are, what a gift God's given us to be able to feel and express emotion "Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all" to me that's beautiful.

Lady Antebellum - I Need You Now, Lyrics

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor

Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door

Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time 

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without 

I just need you now

I just need you now (wait)

Ooo, baby, I need you now

Out the Window

Its almost the end of January and I haven't achieved any of my resolutions - Ooops.  To be honest I failed on them by January 2nd.  My wanna be resolutions consisted of
1) Read my bible everyday
2) Get up at 5am
3) Step into the fear & conquer it
4) Journal about the happy times (I journal in crisis - if anyone ever had to read my diary they'd think I live a crumby life of misery when in reality the long breaks between my cathartic vents are filled with friends fun, happiness and adventure - my last entry was on the 29th November and those were the resolutions I've just written down).
5) Read 1 book a month (I love reading and don't make the time for it)

The only one I'm achieving is
6) Say NO to narcissistic, arrogant, self-centered boys (this is the type that I go for, I mistake arrogance for confidence).  Case in point the last guy I was seeing in Decemberish-WOW did he rate himself, status driven (car/career "I'm a real business man.") or an ex-bf who signs his emails to me off with his work title - who does that? Haha - I know how to pick them.  I should recruit the egocentric boys I go out with - anyone in the market for one?

My resolutions are out the window already - se la vie or they've taken on new forms.  3) Referred to going overseas I submitted my application and the next day was offered a promotion at work - WOW!  I've shifted from my travel adventure to stepping into the "oh crap I hope I can do this and make it work" promotion I was offered.

The longest, most tedious month of the year is almost over.  I welcome in payday on Tuesday (last pay day was the 20th December) and February's challenges.  Goodbye January and good riddance, your almost Out The Window.

Spirit of Adventure

WOW its happening my girlfriend Denica and I are actually going to Italy!  The whole thing came together in an 18 hour window

Can you handle?

There are so many things that I love about this trip

• The spontaneity
• The fact that we're making life happen for ourselves
• Its an adventure (I like adventure)
• Our bravery
• The spirit of it
• Going somewhere I have always wanted to go
• Doing it on a whim
• Taking charge of my life
• Empowerment
• Excitement
• Our Courage
• Strength
• The prospects 
• How BIG my life is.

This time I'm going to Italy with a friend and get to experience it as a single.  Hopefully next time I go to Italy it will be with my love.

From the Ashes a Phoenix will rise

No lies its been a hard week, my boyfriend broke up with me, which sucked.

(He is a great guy & I do respect him and esteem him)

I was at the lowest point I've been at in the last 5 years.

But I've realised I need to pick myself up be strong & carry on.

It is the way I am though, when something bad happens I flounder & can't swim but give me a few minutes,

hours, or in this case days & I will come back stronger.  Ready to fight.

Game plan on.

I burnt the house down, but from the ashes a phoenix will rise.

I WILL!

I chose this picture (its not really my style) because the image of the old bird gone & the new beautiful stronger, powerful Phoenix rising is exactly what I need to do & be.

Playing with Fire* continued

I burnt down the house

 

My Favourite Picture

I came across this picture months ago in a South African newspaper apparently it was taken when Barak and Michelle saw the Queen and Prince Phillip pull up to a dinner in their car.

 

I love this picture because it just shows how real the Obama's are and it makes me smile when I see it.

Playing with Fire*

Here I am sitting by myself on a cold winters day, when I spot a box of matches, I wonder "Hmmm where did those come from?".  It doesn't really matter where it came from is inconsequential, its what I'm going to do with them that matters, I need matches to light some candles because its going to get dark soon and Eskom's turned the power off again, thank you for good service delivery.  But while its still light out there's a pile of leaves I can burn, my chores will be done in no time.

I go over to the leaves, there's no wind blowing and I start lighting matches, holding it up to a piece of rolled up paper and stuffing the paper into the leaves (which are in a wheelbarrow - I'm not an idiot, so I'm doing this safely), the leaves go up in a inferno of flames, they're dry fuel the fires thirst for dry combustible material.  As quickly as it goes up, it dies down.

I turn around to find something else to do, maybe I'll start loosening up the soil and throw some fertilizer to get the ground ready for the seedlings I plan on planting.  Heading off to the shed I grab a spade and return ready to do some gardening.  As I round the corner, I can't believe what I see, the entire lawn is on fire - how did this happen?  I thought I was being responsible, I thought I had it under control, oh my gosh!  The fire keeps spreading over the lawn, swallowing up every piece of dry brown and yellow grass.  Its still small enough to contain, I grab the watering can and throw that on the fir, it doesn't seem to have an effect.  I grab some towels off the wash line and try smother the fire, it smothers out that section but then the wind pick ups, the fire moves onto a new patch of grass.  As the fire moves on the trail of black grass that I managed to "save" and the grass it no longer has a use for is left in its wake.  The wind seems to be blowing from every direction I don't know which way the fire will move.

If the fire keeps moving towards the east, it will reach the veld, the dry long grass, then the dry pine needles and pine cones that lie on the other side of the veld.  If it moves south it will burn my house down.  If it moves north it will destroy my neighbors house.  If it moves west - please let it move west, it will be heading towards the lake and then I might have a fighting chance.  I don't know where its going, me armed with my hose pipe - do I even stand a chance?  If the fire keeps burning, it will probably take me down with it.





*This is a metaphor for an argument/strife/dissension I caused all by myself no one else to blame with a special person - pick your battles, some things just aren't worth arguing over.  The smallest comment can blow up way out of proportion and leave you feeling like a wretched idiot for your silly little actions.

Justin time - 1

A day that could have come sooner and would be welcomed if it was possible for it to be more frequent, my wonderful boyfriend Justin was arriving for his South African vacation, round 2.

Ecstatic to see him, finally, and take in every amazing minute with him (and they were).

My man was in town and we had an awesome trip from Cape Town to PE through the Klein Karoo planned.

Thus commences the best week of my year so far.



View Directions to Port Elizabeth, Eastern Cape, South Africa in a larger map

Everything in life worth waiting for and having happens "just in time"

Feature Friday - The Royal Wedding

Classic, Elegant, Classy & Beautiful.

More Wedding Day Blogs

http://www.empoweredtraditionalist.com/2011/04/29/old-love-new-love/

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ThisIsGlamorous/~3/FtcXW3Ebk8U/royal-wedding-with-this-kiss.html

Inspirational Friendship

I have this amazing friend, (I have a few, but this one gets special mention today), who lives on another continent across an ocean and she has recently started blogging.

She enriches my life.
She is a prime example of a godly woman.
I see her in the bible verse “Let your beauty not be external - the braiding of hair and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes - but the inner person of the heart, the lasting beauty of a gentle and tranquil spirit, which is precious in the God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 
Beautiful on the outside and the inside.
I wish I could spend time with her, so that she would rub off on me.
At least now she is a little bit more accessible - hear my friends enriching thoughts.  She will touch your heart.

http://amommythought.blogspot.com/

A Rose By Any Other Name

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Friendship at unexpected times

My friend Caron left for the USA on Tuesday last week.  Me, being a flake, got her farewell dates mixed up - I need to buy a diary, and I missed her party.

Driving home on Tuesday afternoon, I got a phone call and it was Caron, thanking me - the lame, forget your farewell friend, telling me how precious I am to her, giving me affirmation when I should be the one calling her and saying - have a safe trip, you are precious, enjoy your adventure, have fun, I know you will continue to bless and enrich the lives of the 'Yanks' (said affectionately) you meet, you are a blessing and God has got you and he has amazing things lined up for you.

Read her tasteful, catchy, hip and chic blog http://macdotcoza.blogspot.com - its a treat.

Only decent picture I have available without access to facebook.

Thank you God, for this wonderful lady!

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

One of the explanations as to my current status of disposability, from Rebekah, is "out of sight, out of mind."

 I would hope for more of an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" effect, alas we can't get what we want.

The out of sight, out of mind effect seems to extend beyond the reaches of my Saturday blog.  Hence the prompting to dig up an old poem book I made in high school...

I was unable to track the origin of 'Out of Sight, Out of Mind' but I came across a poem (when I was about 15) written by Sir Walter Raleigh 1552-1618

Out of Sight, Out of Mind.

The oftener seen, the most I lust.

The more I lust, the more I smart.

The more I smart, the more I trust.

The more I trust, the heavier heart.

The heavy heart breeds mine unrest.

They absence, therefore, I like best.

The rarer seen, the less in mind.

The less in mind, the lesser pain.

The lesser pain, less grief I find.

The lesser grief, the greater gain.

The greater gain, the merrier I.

Therefore I wish thy sight to fly.

The further off, the more I joy.

The more I joy the happier life.

The happier life, less hurts annoy.

The lesser hurts, pleasure most rife.

Such pleasure rife shall I obtain.

When distance doth depart us twain.

I do pitty the girl he wrote the poem for.  Sir Walter an interesting man the hyperlink will take you to his wikipedia page, its worth a read.

Social Etiquette Doesn't Pay

The Little Book of Etiquette

I've always wanted to be a lady that conducts myself appropriately in various situations.  When I was about 12 I took a book out of the library on etiquette and read it (while taking notes - first born type A personality trait).

When presented with multiple knives and forks I know (thanks to Titanic) to "start from the outside and work your way in."

I also know how to fold that napkin fan.

Being South African I use both my knife and fork, simultaneously when I eat.  A fork is NOT a knife and should not be used to cut food, it is used to prod food and pick it up.

I like men to be chivalrous and really appreciate it when a man offers me his seat, lets me walk through a door first and opens a car door for me.  I feel like I'm being treated like a lady and these chivalrous gestures do make me respect the man displaying them.

   

On a side note tangent - I totally agree with the Cyanide and Happiness cartoon below.

Back from my tangent.

In line with etiquette - let me set the scene.

Bonni was coming home for a vacation, a friend of hers, Mildread, organised a welcome home part at Rebekah's house.  I'm friends with Bonni and good friends with Rebekah.  Mildread is an acquittance, we see each other socially where we have mutual friends - I've always thought of her as a solid, stand up, grounded girl who has been a great friend to our mutual friends.

Lee was invited to this welcome home part and she proceeded to invite me.  As she hadn't given me any other details, the eve of the party approached I decided to call Rebekah and ask her what I needed to bring.  Rebekah sounded confused and not excited about my query and the news that I had been invited (which was explained later-she still likes me, I haven't offended her - so YAY me for not being a completely crappy person).  

This news prompted a call from Lee about 10 minutes later telling me that "Your no longer invited" hmmm* saucer of milk with that comment?

Mildread had prompted Lee to uninvite me.

Now I'm completely okay with not being invited to something, its that persons prerogative, if you don't want me there thats completely okay.  But to be uninvited somewhere, who does that?  Honestly its bizarre, hurtful, humiliating and bitchy! 

How would Mildread feel if I asked Lee to uninvite her to a function I had organised for Rebekah.

Tangent:

Coming from the Christian circle that this scene was based in, the Christian cliche of WWJD (what would Jesus do), Christian love?  Hmmm* no wonder why the world see's Christians as hypocrites and the way social media displays them is self-righteous, holier than tough.

If I hadn't had the etiquette prompting of NOT arriving empty handed and checking with my host and friend.  I would not have been uninvited, spent my Friday and Saturday morbidly upset over my disposablity-its a crumby place to be.

I will be calling Mildread (having spoken to Rebekah this morning) and confronting her of her poor handling of the situation, nicely - bring it on confrontation, I wonder if there is an etiquette book on calling someone out on high school catiness. 

Reeeooow!

*This might be slightly misrepresented for your concise reading preferences - it was an exclusive gathering of closer personal friends, however Bella who is of the same apparent friendship ranking as me and who was in the same exact same position as me was not uninvited.  I was the one who was used to make an example of, as Lee has a habit of inviting people to things-her motto the more the merrier*

*Names have been changed*